So you’re going to elope. You want a wedding that feels like you, without all the nonsensical fuss of a trad wedding. But you’re on the fence about who to actually invite to your wedding. Do you elope with family and friends as your wedding guests? And if you do, who gets one of your coveted invites? Not only that, why do they get an invite?
Elopements are kind of a big deal at Arizona Elopement Collective. Actually, elopements are such a big deal that we’ve come up with a whole new way to define modern elopement. In fact, a modern elopement means that who you invite to your elopement carries a greater impact than a banquet hall wedding with an ever-growing “not sure if I remember these people” guest list.
How Many People Are at an Elopement?
If you and your partner have selected an elopement wedding, you are now tasked with deciding who will be there beyond just the two of you. Will you elope with family and friends, or will it be just the two of you? We will say this, a modern elopement is an intimate wedding with a list of 20 or fewer wedding guests. So if you decide to elope with family and friends, your guest list is kind of tethered to not exceeding that number. Which leaves you free to decide who will be there on your best day ever.
The best part? You get to select each of your elopement wedding guests with intention. Having a guest list of 20 or fewer allows you to actually connect on a deeper level with everyone who is in attendance. You get to skip right over spending the night running around from table to table, wondering which direction your partner ran off to. You get to elope with family and friends that matter most.
Eloping With [or Without] Your Parents
OK, the first order of business, let’s start with your parents. This might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. Your parents might be ultra-traditional and not quite all that understanding of your choice of an elopement wedding. Let’s turn this on its head really quick. You and your partner get to be the ones to explain to them why hosting an elopement wedding is important to you.
How you can’t wait to be outdoors, saying I do in a splendid setting that just feels like you. You get to describe, in detail, how intimate your elopement wedding day will be. And above all, how eloping will allow you to spend more time with each and every one of your guests. All without buying dinner for 200 people or being forced to get married at the random church your family only attends for weddings & funerals.
Look, we know not all parents will be excited, even after hearing that. But this is where a well-seasoned professional elopement planner can step in. If the talk didn’t go well, or you can’t even fathom the idea of having the talk (we get it), you can share your wedding planner’s website with your parents. This will give your family some insight, along with a visual, of “how it all works”.
Alternatively, a great elopement wedding guide (we have one on our homepage), curated by a specialized elopement planner, will give your family something a bit more tangible to wrap their heads around. Both of these elements paired together will drum up excitement for them when you share the details of your elopement.
Let’s say you get to skip the explanatory part of your elopement wedding to your parents. As a matter of fact, whadda ya know, they’ve even offered to chip in for your elopement. The next thing to consider will be setting boundaries and navigating expectations throughout the elopement planning process. Once the wallet opens, it usually comes along with uninhibited opinions. Which, let’s face it, nobody wants to deal with when planning their wedding. Say it with us now, boundaries! Set them up, put them in place, and be unyielding when it comes to those who attempt a breach.
Elope With Family & Friends
Throw out all the trash advice you’ve heard from a friend of a friend about who gets an invite to your wedding. Let’s start fresh. Who do you actually feel excited about inviting to your elopement? Now, who do you feel obligated to invite? Two totally different feelings about who gets an invite to your wedding, right? Remember that everyone who ends up attending your wedding will have a personal experience with you on your wedding day.
So what are we saying? You don’t have to invite anyone to your elopement wedding if you only feel obligated to invite them. In fact, you should feel excited about every.single.person you plan to invite. This is your official permission slip, a little pre-wedding gift from us to you, to ditch the obligations when it comes to compiling your list of elopement wedding guests.
Now that you’re excited about who is on your guest list, let’s take it a step further. An elopement allows you to connect on a deeper level with your guests. So the folks that are getting an invite, how will they be involved in your elopement? Will they be included in your ceremony? If so cool. If not, that works too, the point is, you get to decide.
What about your photography experience? We’re willing to bet you and your partner want to take the opportunity to snatch up some photos with them. Because there are so many iterations of groupings when it comes to wedding photography, here’s the part where we tell you to plan ahead. Think about the photography experience you desire out of your wedding day. What does that look like? How do you picture the groupings of photos?
Having this planned out in advance will save you so much in the drama department on the day of your elopement. And, it’ll put your elopement photographer in the driver’s seat of your photography experience (our colleague James Lester does this with his couples in California). Allowing them to take the reins, direct your guests as needed, and create a memorable experience for you both. All while providing a stress-free experience that is actually fun. Plus, you’ll get some phenomenal photos to hang on the walls of your home.
Accessibility is Important
Eloping in the great outdoors, freaking love it. However, accessibility will be super important to the guests you have decided to invite, especially if you decide to elope with family members like grandparents. But, the rad thing about eloping in nature is that you get to decide what that looks like when you say I do.
Will it be an ‘easily accessible to all of your guest’s’ space, with little to no walking or hiking required? Or, will it be a big adventure that your friends are thrilled to throw on their trail shoes for? Or does a nice middle ground feel right for you and your guests? Once you’ve narrowed down your elopement wedding guest list an elopement wedding planner will be crucial in helping you find recommended locations that are accessible and inclusive for all of you & your guest’s needs.
All The Info
You now have a pretty solid idea of who you are excited to invite to your elopement wedding, and full permission (co-signed by us) to nix those potential guests that felt like an obligation from the beginning. Now, the best part, you decide what the rest of your adventure elopement will look like, and more importantly whether you will elope with family and friends surrounding you. We started Arizona Elopement Collective to give couples a chance to rewrite the rule book when it came to their wedding day. If you’re ready to create an exciting one-of-a-kind adventure elopement experience in Arizona, you can apply now to get started.
Or, you can find out more about the modern definition of elopement, right here.
